How to teach your child to talk

Learning to talk is a process that starts at birth, when your baby experiences how voices can sound. By 2 years old, most babies have a large vocabulary and can put words together to express their needs and ideas. Learning to talk is a complex skill. When you’re helping your child express himself, try to focus on having fun together, rather than seeing it as just a teaching opportunity.

In the toddler years, your child’s language starts to explode, as your child moves from using single words to putting together simple sentences. Your child is also starting to understand and follow simple requests, like ‘Bring me your book’ or ‘Wave bye-bye’. But toddlers often don’t have the words to express big emotions or talk about complex experiences. With your help, your child will start learning how to use words to communicate better.

You don’t need to ‘teach’ your toddler to talk. He’ll learn through everyday interactions, especially with you. However, speak with a child health professional if your toddler isn’t using gestures like head nods or pointing, or if she isn’t using words to communicate.

When you’re with your child, it’s all about tuning in and noticing what your child is interested in. Then you can make a comment or ask a question, and give your child time to respond. For example, if your toddler points to a beetle in the garden, you could say, ‘Look at the little green beetle. I wonder what it’s doing’. Then wait and see how your child responds.

When you share moments like these with your child, it’s important to give your child time to find words for her ideas. This is about waiting to hear what your child says, rather than trying to put words into her mouth.

And when your child responds, it’s important to show you’re really listening. You can do this by making lots of eye contact and saying things like ‘You think the beetle is going for a walk? Yes, there it goes!’ When you do this, you send the message that what your child is saying is important to you.

Simple and meaningful interactions like these encourage your child to talk more and use more words. They also help your child learn about the pattern of conversations.

What to expect from your toddler talking

Your toddler will probably start to:

• speak in correct sentences from 24-30 months
• be understood more by strangers from 26-36 months
• use pronouns (I, you, me, we, they) and some plurals from 26-36 months
• understand most of what adults say by about three years.

By birthday number two, your toddler will probably enjoy naming everyday things, like ‘doggie’ and ‘drink’. She’ll also be able to understand and follow a simple request, like ‘Bring me your book’ or ‘Wave bye-bye’.

By the age of three, your child will probably move on to simple sentences, like ‘Where doggie gone?’ By now strangers will probably be able to understand most of what your child says, even though he’ll still struggle to express some words clearly.

Talking can be frustrating for toddlers – they can have so much to tell you but can’t quite get the words out. If you give your toddler time, she’ll get there eventually. Trying and making mistakes are important parts of learning.

Toddlers respond best to encouragement and interest, rather than correction or being made fun of, so try to avoid correcting your toddler’s mistakes too often.

Tips to get toddlers talking

Here are some practical, everyday ideas to get your toddler talking and help her learn more words:

• Read together and share stories. Stories that have word patterns, rhymes and colorful pictures often capture toddler interest and attention.
• Sing songs or say rhymes with your child. This helps him to understand different word sounds – and it’s fun.
• When you play with your toddler, use words to describe what’s happening – for example, ‘Push the ball back to Mummy’ and ‘You got the ball!’
• Give your child choices using words and objects. For example, you could hold up two pairs of shoes and say, ‘We’re going outside. Would you rather wear your red boots or your blue shoes?’
• When your child uses ‘made-up’ verbs like ‘goed’, repeat the sentence back with the correct word. For example, ‘Yes, the man went out the door’.
• When your toddler uses simple word combinations like ‘Dog go away’ or ‘Daddy come here’, repeat the words back to your child in full sentences. For example, ‘You want Daddy to make the dog go away?’

Play ideas to encourage toddler talking

The more words you expose your child to, the more words she’ll learn. Here are some play ideas to encourage toddler talking:

• Read with your child.
• Talk about the ordinary things you do each day – for example, ‘I’m hanging these clothes to dry outside because it’s a nice day’.
• Respond to and talk about your child’s interests. For example, if your child is pretending to drive a car, ask him where he’s going.
• Recite nursery rhymes and sing songs. Play rhymes, stories and songs in the car.
• Copy your child’s attempts at words to encourage two-way conversation. Also build on basic words – for example, when your toddler says ‘train’, you can say, ‘Yes, it’s a big red train’.
• When your child is ‘talking’, show that you’re listening by smiling and looking at her. Also praise your child’s efforts to talk.
• Leave time after you talk to give your child a chance to reply. He might not always have the right words, but he’ll still try to respond. This helps children learn about conversation.
• Point to and name body parts, or make it into a game – for example, ‘Where is your mouth?’

Screen time and toddler talking

Screen time isn’t recommended for children under 18 months, other than video-chatting. After 18 months, your child can have some screen time, but it’s best to watch or play with your child.

Long periods of screen time have been associated with a range of health issues in toddlers and preschoolers, as well as the slower development of language skills, short-term memory and poorer social skills.

Tips to help toddlers understand words

It’s easy to forget that children don’t understand everything we say. Here are some ideas to try when your toddler seems puzzled by something you’ve said:

• Try saying it in different ways. For example, ‘Put the blocks in the box’, or ‘Here’s the box. Put the blocks in it’, or ‘Take the blocks to the box, and put them in’.
• Try to use the same words to describe things. If you repeat the same words, your child will start to understand them. For example, you might always use the word ‘pyjamas’ when you talk about what your toddler wears to bed.
• When you need to give instructions or requests, make them clear and limit them to one or two steps – for example, ‘Lids on the markers. Then put the markers in the tub’.

How do children learn how to talk

The more words children hear, the more words they can learn. Babies start cooing and making vowel sounds between 6 weeks and 3 months, but most won’t start using basic words until they’re 9 to 14 months old. From 3 to 18 months, your baby’s speech develops dramatically. Simple, enjoyable interactions and play ideas – like reading and singing – will encourage your baby’s talking and language skills.

Babies develop language at different rates – some learn quickly and others might need a bit more time.

As your baby starts to learn about language you might hear him:

• cooing, gurgling and babbling
• putting together simple sounds – for example, ‘ba-ba’
• copying words
• communicating ‘no’ with a shake of the head.

At 12-18 months, most babies say their first words. But at this age, you and other close family members might be the only people who know what these words mean! Even though your baby’s words might not sound quite right yet, she still enjoys babbling happily when you talk. She also likes pointing out familiar objects when you name them.

By birthday number two, your baby has become better at talking but some sounds might still be hard for him to say correctly, like the letter ‘r’. He might say it as ‘w’ instead – for example, it might sound like your child is saying ‘wed’ instead of ‘red’.

Here are some fun things to do together to encourage baby talking and language:

• Chat to your baby about the things you’re doing around the house, even if you think they’re boring – for example, ‘Daddy’s vacuuming the carpet to get rid of the dust that makes you sneeze’.
• Repeat your baby’s attempts at words to encourage two-way conversation. For example, if she says ‘mama’ you could say ‘mama’ back to her. You can also repeat and build on your toddler’s words. For example, when baby says, ‘train’, you say, ‘Yes, it’s a big red train’.
• Show interest in your baby’s babbling and talking by looking him in the eye and giving lots of smiles.
• Respond to and talk about your baby’s interests. For example, if your baby starts playing with a toy train, you could say ‘Toot, toot’.
• Read and tell stories with your baby.
• Share songs and nursery rhymes.
• Praise your baby’s efforts to talk. For example, if your baby points to a dog and names it, you could say, ‘Well done for pointing out the dog, Georgie!’

From birth to 3 months

Your baby listens to your voice. He coos and gurgles and tries to make the same sounds you make. You can help your baby learn how nice voices can be when you:

• Sing to your baby. You can do this even before he is born! Your baby will hear you.
• Talk to your baby. Talk to others when she is near. She won’t understand the words, but will like your voice and your smile. She will enjoy hearing and seeing other people, too.
• Plan for quiet time. Babies need time to babble and play quietly without TV or radio or other noises.

Encouraging talking skills is as easy as listening and responding to your baby. Sharing stories, songs, rhymes – even talking about your day – will all help your baby learn and practice language. Sharing these experiences with your baby also helps to build your relationship. Nappy-changing is a great time for some face-to-face conversation with your baby. You could try talking, singing and looking at baby’s face as you change nappies.

From 3 to 6 months

Your baby is learning how people talk to each other. You help him become a “talker” when you:

• Hold your baby close so he will look in your eyes.
• Talk to him and smile.
• When your baby babbles, imitate the sounds.
• If he tries to make the same sound you do, say the word again.

From 6 to 9 months

Your baby will play with sounds. Some of these sound like words, such as “baba or “dada.” Baby smiles on hearing a happy voice, and cries or looks unhappy on hearing an angry voice. You can help your baby understand words (even if she can’t say them yet) when you:

• Play games like Peek-a-Boo or Pat-a-Cake. Help her move her hands along with the rhyme.
• Give her a toy and say something about it, like “Feel how fuzzy Teddy Bear is.”
• Let her see herself in a mirror and ask, “Who’s that?” If she doesn’t respond, say her name.
• Ask your baby questions, like “Where’s doggie?” If she doesn’t answer, show her where.

From 9 to 12 months

Your baby will begin to understand simple words. She stops to look at you if you say “no-no.” If someone asks “Where’s Mommy?” she will look for you. She will point, make sounds, and use her body to “tell” you what she wants. For example she may look up at you and lift her arms up to show you she “wants up.” She may hand you a toy to let you know she wants to play. You can help your baby “talk” when you: Show her how to wave “bye-bye.”

From 12 to 15 months

Babies begin to use words. This includes using the same sounds consistently to identify an object, such as “baba” for bottle or “juju” for juice. Many babies have one or two words and understand 25 or more. He will give you a toy if you ask for it. Even without words, he can ask you for something—by pointing, reaching for it, or looking at it and babbling. You can help your child say the words he knows when you:

• Talk about the things you use, like “cup,” “juice,” “doll.” Give your child time to name them.
• Ask your child questions about the pictures in books. Give your child time to name things in the picture.
• Smile or clap your hands when your child names the things that he sees. Say something about it. “You see the doggie. He’s sooo big! Look at his tail wag.”
• Talk about what your child wants most to talk about. Give him time to tell you all about it.
• Ask about things you do each day—“Which shirt will you pick today?” “Do you want milk or juice?”
• Build on what your child says. If he says “ball,” you can say, “That’s your big, red ball.”
• Introduce pretend play with your child’s favorite doll or toy animal. Include it in your conversations and your play. “Rover wants to play too. Can he roll the ball with us?”

From 15 to 18 months

Your child will use more complex gestures to communicate with you and will continue to build her vocabulary. She may take your hand, walk you to the bookshelf, point to a book and say “buk” to say, “I want to read a book with you.” You can help your child talk with you when you:

• Tell her “Show me your nose.” Then point to your nose. She will soon point to her nose. Do this with toes, fingers, ears, eyes, knees and so on.
• Hide a toy while she is watching. Help her find it and share in her delight.
• When he points at or gives you something, talk about the object with her. “You gave me the book. Thank you! Look at the picture of the baby rolling the ball.”

From 18 months to 2 years

Your baby will be able to follow directions and begin to put words together, such as “car go” or “want juice.” He will also begin to do pretend play which fosters language development. You can spur your child’s communication skills when you:

• Ask your child to help you. For example, ask him to put his cup on the table or to bring you his shoe.
• Teach your child simple songs and nursery rhymes. Read to your child. Ask him to point to and tell you what he sees.
• Encourage your child to talk to friends and family. He can tell them about a new toy.
• Engage your child in pretend play. You can talk on a play phone, feed the dolls, or have a party with the toy animals.

From 2 to 3 years

Your child’s language skills will grow by leaps and bounds. He will string more words together to create simple sentences, such as “Mommy go bye-bye.” He will be able to answer simple questions, such as “Where is your bear?” By 36 months he will be able to answer more complicated questions such as, “What do you do when you are hungry?” He will do more and more pretend play, acting out imaginary scenes such as going to work, fixing the toy car, taking care of his “family” (of dolls, animals).

You can help your child put all his new words together and teach him things that are important to know when you:

• Teach your child to say his or first and last name.
• Ask about the number, size, and shape of the things your child shows you.
• Ask open-ended questions that don’t have a “yes” or “no” answer. This helps them develop their own ideas and learn to express them. If it’s worms, you could say: “What fat, wiggly worms! How many are there?…Where are they going? Wait, watch and listen to the answer. You can suggest an answer if needed: “I see five. Are they going to the park or the store?”
• Ask your child to tell you the story that goes with a favorite book. “What happened to those three pigs?” Reading spurs language development. Take him to storytime at your local library. Your toddler will enjoy sharing books with you as well as peers.
• Do lots of pretend play. Acting out stories and role-playing create rich opportunities for using, and learning, language.
• Don’t forget what worked earlier. For example, your child still needs quiet time. This is not just for naps. Turn off the TV and radio and let your child enjoy quiet play, singing, and talking with you.

Helping toddlers turn body language and feelings into words

Understanding feelings and being able to talk about them are important steps towards self-regulation.

In the toddler years, children often use body language when they don’t have the words to express ideas and feelings. For example, your child might tug on your pants to be picked up, shake or nod his head, or reach for something he wants.

This is a great time to encourage your child to use words. You can do this by repeating back what you think your child wants. For example, ‘You look hungry. Do you want more apple?’

You can help your child understand how words, feelings and body language go together by talking about them and making connections. For example, ‘Thanks for showing me the paint is knocked over. I can see you’re really sad your picture got messed up’. This links the feeling with the word ‘sad’.